Waiting
by s41k1
Summary: On chapter 423. Ichigo has lost his powers, so what does he do now? Remembering, regretting, imagining...?  Updated with Rukia-centric chapter. Glimpses of him reflect how she feels. IchiRuki
1. Chapter 1

**Waiting**

T_T I really want to cry over 423. KUBO! You better do something about it! T_T I think this is longer than I thought it would be. Enjoy~

P.S.: I almost cried while writing this. I hope it's not _that_ sad.

**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Bleach, the following scenario would happen. Heh heh. T_T

**XXX**

It was an unspoken rule among them. After all, only the densest would approach him. He had to learn on his own how to cope with 'sadness'. That word may be too mild to describe his situation though.

He still went to school, half-hearing Inoue blubbering away sometimes. He had to go through the motions of 'living'. Somewhat hoping she would appear at the window, like that day.

Hell. Ishida, Chad and Inoue could see her. Even Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro and heck, Chizuru if they wanted to. He wanted to smash doors at the unfairness. They didn't fully appreciate her. He wished he did more.

Zangetsu ossan or Tensa Zangetsu isn't _there_ anymore. How his inner world is now, he has no idea. Maybe they have all crumbled, the very person – persons – he wanted to protect most, all gone.

Even that father of his quieted down his antics. Sometimes he told stories of his mother, and how he coped after her loss. After knowing your father is a shinigami, well, he could've protected her. However, she ended up slipping through his fingers.

"Rukia. You there?"

He stood in front of the cupboard like he did when she didn't return the first time. No one replied as he posed his question; after the cupboard, he asked it to the moon. How its glow reminded him of her. With his eyes closed, he could just imagine Sode no Shirayuki's form, as graceful as its wielder, as beautiful.

The moon would be hardly visible during the day, of course, when the sun hogs all the attention. At night, it reigns the sky... why he thought of this, he didn't know. He just felt dead.

Times like these were to reminisce. Everyone didn't escape unscathed, but still they were together. Now... he guessed a once bubbly Inoue is now broken and dissolved into a child. The others... he wasn't really sure, having immersed himself into despair.

He imagined Rukia calling him 'idiot' or other variations and tell him to get his ass into gear. He imagined her standing behind him right now, unsure to touch him. He also imagined holding her so hard, swearing not to let go, only to have her body crumble on his touch.

He found he could not cry, all his emotions bottled up with nowhere to go, slowly crushing him and killing him from the inside.

Then he woke up on the floor, a blanket over him. His door was locked, the window slightly ajar. He dreamt of her being angry at him for being this way... the soft look on her face as she mock-punched him. The pained look. The softness of the blanket as she pulled it over him. The lingering dampness on it where she buried her face into to cry. An unusual goodnight greeting of "You fool! You're not the only one suffering..." that she whispered into his ear.

With this, there was also the certainty he had to stop this. He lay still. "Rukia, you win. I'll stop. Oh and by the way, I love you."

He smiled imagining the flush on her face as she tries to respond on his insistence when he can see her again.

_I'll be waiting._


	2. Chapter 2

**Waiting**

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND FAVS! *cough* So this is a Rukia-centric chapter... and I hope it's alright with you guys. I'll do my best not to go OOC and I _hope_ it's not so bad [because I'm writing off the bat without any plan v_v;;;]. Enjoy~

**DISCLAIMER: **Bleach. Do not own Bleach. Bleach bleach bleach

**XXX**

Sometimes she got a glimpse of him. Always, he looked a wreck. The word was ideal to describe her as well, but at least she had the occasional life-threatening attack to keep her mind away.

"Kurosaki-kun..." Inoue Orihime hesitated as she began to heal her once again. "He misses you a lot."

She turned away, looking out of the window. "The fool can live without me."

"He can _live_ without you, Kuchiki-san," the buxom girl agreed, but added with uncharacteristic fieriness, "But he can't _function_ fully without you."

"Tch. He has to live with it then," her voice was bitter. "He made the sacrifice, so now suffer the _consequences_," the last word was almost spat out with much venom.

"Kuchiki-san –!"

"Thanks, Inoue," she said abruptly and escaped.

A good distance away, she stopped and mentally hit herself. _Stupid! Inoue didn't do anything wrong! Don't get caught up in your feelings!_

She looked around and realized with a start she had unconsciously returned to the place... the place where everything began. She saw him at the window, looking at a point behind her. She followed his gaze to the moon.

She clutched her heart, wondering what this turmoil inside her meant. Shinigami aren't supposed to have feelings... right?

Wrong. If that was the case, then Byakuya wouldn't have married her sister Hisana. Kaien wouldn't have loved Miyako so much until he wanted to take revenge for her, which ultimately cost his life, and also broke something in her.

"ICHIGO! TAWAKE! BAKA! AHO!" she wanted to yell, but he wouldn't hear her. Instead, she said to herself, "Why did I hit you and scold you all those times? Do you think I'll be happy to see you like this...?"

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks. She smiled, despite herself. "You really are a fool. Do I have to cry for you now?"

She saw him sway, and unthinkingly, she caught him, like that day in the rain. She lay him down on his bedroom floor and took his blanket, pulling it over him. She glanced at the cupboard where she used to stay. In the end, she didn't really use the trinkets she brought with her. Was it just a month or two ago? It felt like aeons.

She didn't look at the cupboard for only nostalgic reasons. Kon... where is he? He usually would've jumped out and screamed something; then waking Ichigo and... what? What would he say when Kon tells him she was here? That gikongan was – is – mainly insensitive to others.

But all was quiet. She lectured him, softly, about how stupid he was being. "You're not the only one suffering..." she clenched her fists tightly, then muffled her crying using a corner of the blanket.

She didn't cry long. She still had work to do. She stood, wiping any stray tear with her sleeve. She thought of kicking him for good measure, but she thought, _Let him rest._

She opened her eyes again to see his room's ceiling. _CRAP!_ _I... OVERSLEPT!_ She glanced at Ichigo. He didn't seem awake. And Kon's loud presence still missing. Well, thank God for that. She didn't want to face that overly loud toy.

She carefully opened the window and prepared to step out when she heard him say, "… I love you."

She stared at him open-mouthed. He smirked at the ceiling, not seeing her, but somehow confident she heard him. She wanted to scream obscenities, and yes, half kill him, but her throat seized up and she found her face hot and her heart racing. She left the window ajar and shunpo-ed as far away as she could. She fought to control herself, but her heart was singing at his 'confession'.

Those in the vicinity of the school could hear a girl screaming in utter frustration. Most of them knew who that was.

"FINE! YOU BETTER WAIT FOR MY REPLY, YOU IDIOT!"


End file.
